Mystery Never Solved
by adict
Summary: oh you know me shane , I don't play that game... remember? .....No,your wrong... I don't know you... never did... In this Fic Shane's not the bad one. Carmen is very very bad
1. Chapter 1

_**RUBIES NIGHT CLUB**_

So I'm here at Rubies Night Club. There were around 40 people, mostly fat men drinking, screaming, and laughing… so disgusting. I'm new here, but I won't stay here long. Sooner or later they will find me and I would have to run again… sad, I know, but that's life… the owner of the place went up to the stage

"Ladies and gents, we are going to start this now with a new girl" everybody screamed "yes!! a new girl, so give it up for, Domino!!!!" ……. show time.

_**(Domino took the stage wearing black underwear. She had olive skin, brown eyes, dark brown hair, a body to die for with beautiful boobs. She had a wild look but at the same time a very gentle soft side to her that made everyone crazy.)**_

so I'm dancing right … having a good time, considering…everyone is looking and lusting at me, I can see in their eyes their desire for me. They give me money…that's what I want. But good times don't last forever… _**(Domino spots a good looking guy sitting at front, so she went towards him and sat on his lap, still dancing**_)…

"Take me to the nearest motel" (_**and she nips him on his lips)**_ "now?" "yea … now" _**(they got up, people started screaming at her to come up again to the stage, but she grabbed her things at the bar and followed the man out the door)**_

So we get to his place…. This guy thinks I'm going to fuck him… I got other plans "so Domino, what would you like to do?"_**( he smiled**_) told ya "well" _**(she kissed him**_) " we could do lots of thing… but first… " _**(she kissed him again and pushed him to the bed)**_ "I have to go to the bathroom" "ok, I'll be waiting"… "I'm sure you will"

_**(And she went and closed the bathroom door. At that precise moment there was a knock at the door. He go up and went to the door. When he opened there was a guy with two big men at his side. The three wearing black suits)**_

"Can I help you?"

"Yes" _**(The guy in the middle spoke and showed him his badge. He had short spiky hair and blue eyes**_) "I'm Detective Shane McCutcheon. I understand you're in the company of Carmen de la Pica Morales, it's that right?"

"um, the stripper?" _**(Shane laughed**_)

"yea… the stripper"

" well she is in the bathroom right now, why ? is she in some kind of trouble , I thought she was 18 man !!"

"I'm not in the position of telling you that, so if you could please let us in"

"yea, yea come in" (_**the two men knocked on the door and she said she will be right out) **_ "man, she is fucking hot. I so wanted to bang her tonight" (_**Shane looked at him, as if he was kidding) **_

"I don't think you're her type"

"how do you know?"

"I just.. Have a feeling" _**(They heard a noise coming from the bathroom) **_ "guys opened the door" (_**they did, but nobody was there and the window was opened**_) "fuck that bitch!! Guys go look at the place she was staying at, I'll be with you in a sec" (_**the guys took off)**_ "ok.. Now did she had something with her? Maybe a bag?"

" yea she did, right there" _**(he pointed to the bag on the corner of the couch**_)

"ok thank you" _**(he grabbed it, and started to go, but turned around) **_"look don't take this the wrong way but…. She never wanted you… she wanted your money" _**(he closed the door, and the man checked his pockets for his wallet, but didn't find it)**_

_**(Shane arrived at the old house, when he opened the door he found her partners in the floor, knocked out) **_"Fuck"_** (he took out her gun and started to go into the house) **_"Carmen!!... Stop this shit right now, you have to turn yourself in!!!" "why?" _**(Carmen answered from the second floor so Shane started going up stairs)**_ I knew this was going to happened between me and her

"did you wanted to fuck that guy, or just rob him?"

"oh you know me Shane, I don't play that game… remember?" _**(She sounded so relaxed, as if she knew nothing was going to happened to her. Shane continue following the voice thru the rooms)**_

"I don't know you… never did"

"you knew me Shane, you just didn't know my real name" ...

"or, your real life" ...

"Now you know… what do you think?"

"What do you want me to think Carmen… you're a living lie, a thief"

'' that actually really hurt ... _**(Carmen laughed and came out and stood in front of Shane**_) "is that what you think? Or what they told you to think?"

"Is there a difference?" _**(he lowered her gun**_) "Don't know… but you'll find the truth… don't worry, you always do" this is the part I don't like

_**(then she punched Shane on his face. Shane fell down unconscious. Carmen kneeled in front of him, grabbed her gun and kissed him on the cheek)**_

"I'm sorry for that… see you next time.I know you will find me… but then again… I want you to find me." _**(She went to Shane's car, opened it, grabbed the bag, went back in and left it right beside Shane unconscious body) **_

"Bye, my love" _**(She went thru the back door and went to a black car parked inside the garage still wearing the black underwear and a jacked) **_

_**-----------------------**_


	2. Chapter 2

**HOTEL**

So I'm sitting here on my hotel room with a black eye looking at the fucking bag she left me that night. She wants me to find her, that much is for sure. But why?... why the fuck does a criminal wants the police to find him?... or maybe she just want me to find her… No!, Shane, get your self under control. I got use to say her name… her real name Carmen. I forgot about Eliza…. I think…… She disserves to go to jail. She lied to you, she fucking used you, and not to mention she Kills people for a living!!. She……. forget it….(_**Shane stood up and went to get a drink)**_

I can't believe she hit me…. And she hits hard by the way, ask my two partners, Jimmy and Pablo. They are a little embarrassed by that. She is good, I admit that, but at the same time I hate that. I hate that because, it means everything was a lie, that I never did Know her…. All that time we where toget-… STOP it , get back to the case. _**(She went back to her bed and sat down looking at the bag in front of her)**_

I didn't tell the guys about the bag. I will, it's just that…I just have to find out what's in it. So here I am again, looking at the fucking bag that I can't open. Why I can't I opened it? Shit I don't know, just …. Well, I'm afraid of what's in it…that bag can contain a lot of things…. But at the same time it can have nothing………. I'm so fucking lame, just open it you moron!!! _**(She grabbed the bag and opened it. She found some make up, a post card, a rose and a letter) **_a note huh? _**(se opened the letter and read)**_

**Dear Shane:**

**I didn't want this to happen. This is what I am, this is what I do and I can't change that. I like to live on the edge. I wanted to tell you that, I never lied to you. I mean I did, BUt never aBoUt hoW I felt about you. The only think I lied to you aBoUt was… well my joB and my name.. I hope you forgive me some day.**

**Oh and The rose is for you.**

**C**

Don't think about it that much, she is a living lie. Ok so maybe she does not want me to find her…. The rose…she ones told me that a red rose meant love and passion… sometimes forgiveness. Yes, I got a preview of her love right on my left black eye. So what ells… the blank Scarface post card… Think!!! Scarface ok…Scarface…

** (flashback) **

**(Carmen/Shane/Naked/holding each other/Bed/TV/Scarface)**

"The first time I saw this movie I was so exited"

"Why?"

"I had a thing… well for action movies. Anything that had to do with blood.

"OK… that's kind of psycho"

"yea well anyways, I was home alone and my parents got this new TV, so I put it really loud and .. it was just amazing."

"ok Scarface fan, where did you lived?"

"LA, country club 43 street … a white and blue house… of course it's a shit now, but it was home. Sometime I go there to relax… to look for answer, to see where I came from."

** (end fachback) **

Country club 43 street… What do I got to lose right?... well maybe my life … what if she just wants to kill me… I'm bringing my gun just in case_** (she grabbed her keys and her jacked. When she opened the door to go, she found Pablo and Jimmy standing right in front of her) **_

"Um guys?"

"Look we where just wandering, if we could go to a bar or something tonight…?"

"um, yea. you guys go"

"Your not coming?"

"No, I'm going to take a drive around town"

"oh, ok . Well see you in the morning then"

"yea see ya'"

_**(The guys went away and Shane got in her car and droved to the house...Later She arrived, the house looked abandon and it didn't had any lights on)**_ Just go in and … well check it out. _**(She got in the house and closed the door. She had her gun ready just in case. After a few minutes Carmen got out of her hiding place.)**_

"hey" (_**Shane froze, and after a minute pointed the gun at her)**_

"Carmen! Put your hand in the air, your under arrest"

"you came all the way here to arrest me? Where are the guys?"

"it's just me tonight"

"….I knew you would remember Scarface"

"That was a lie too?"

"No"

"Why?...Why did you wanted me to find you?"

"Because I wanted to see you… I never trust anyone. Never had. You're the only one that can understand me. That I can trust. That I –"

"Fuck you Carmen!!!... I'm not like you!!.. I'm not a killer"

"That's really what you think about me?..."

"YES!!! Not what I think , what it IS… you killed Kenny Miller, Gustavo Fetcher, Joseph Kalb should I go on?"

"Does were bad people Shane"

"I know, but that doesn't mean we have to kill them!!..."

"That's the only thing we CAN do!! When I fucking innocent person dies because some asshole thinks his the king of the world and decides he wants to kill them, Not only his affecting that persons but that person's family. Then the family haves to bust their asses to move on , to forget what happened. Maybe they never do get over it. Maybe they have nightmares for the rest of their lives. Maybe they never get to have a normal life again…. I want to fucking kill the ones who think they are Kings… does assholes….And I now you understand me on this one Shane…. So now People pay me to kill people. If they are bad I do it, if not well I don't." (_**Shane new this was getting personal and she didn't want to talk about it)**_

"………Well I guess if I go by your theory I would have to kill you" _**(Shane pointed the gun on her)**_

"I guess you have to then" (_**Carmen went towards her, till the gun was inches from her head) " **_Do it… kill me… get me out of my misery" _**(Carmen grabbed the gun and pulled it down till her heart) **_you want to kill me here…ok then … when you kill someone by a bullet on the heart is better… not that messy as if on the head, but its more personal. (_**Se grabbed the gun again and pulled it down to her ribs)**_ Here well… it's a slow death…… you have nightmares about it for weeks…. **(she grabbed it again, but this time pulled it down, so the gun was in between her legs) **but I don't think you want to kill me _**(They where now face to face, looking at each other. Shane could feel Carmen breathing on her face) " **_I think you want something ells"

"What do I want then?" **_(In a sec, Carmen closed her legs really tight and kneeled a little to the side so she was holding the gun tightly and at the same time pushed Shane backwards on the couch. Carmen grabbed the gun)_**_ i'm telling you ... she's good_

"You don't need this around me" _**(she tossed it to the side. She straddles Shane and started kissing her really passionately. Shane didn't know what to do at first, but gave in quickly. Carmen took off her top and started working on Shane's. Surprise, surprise Shane was not wearing a bra. Shane opened her mouth and Carmen took that chance to taste Shane's mouth with her tongue and she received a moan as a recompance. Carmen grabbed Shane's hands and pulled her towards her, so they where now sitting. Shane started kissing Carmen's neck and at the same time trying to get Carmen's bra straps off. When she did, she started caressing her breast with both hands and this time it was Carmen who was moaning.)**_

_ "_Fuck me Shane" ...she wants me … that's what I want right… I love her

_**(they looked at each other for a second. Shane kissed her but this time, it was a sweet kiss. When they pulled apart Shane grabbed Carmen face with both hands)**_

"I can't… I can't do this Carmen" _**(Shane pushed Carmen backwards so she could get up**_) "I can't fuck you_**" (she grabbed her shirt and pulled it on)**_

"Shane…you can't leave me….i though-"

"I'm leaving!?!!?!!?!? Eliza you-.. CARMEN, you left me!!!! Remember? YOU, LEFT, ME!!!.. I'm supposed to arrest you, and I'm fucking you?"

"You don't have to arrest me we could-" _**(She was crying)**_

"No Carmen we can't!!!... _**(she was on the verge of tears)**_There is no 'we' Carmen. It's in the past…. Tomorrow this will be like nothing happened….I suggest you go away…. I will go back to trying to find you, my JOB and you will continue doing what you do, whatever…." _**(They where both crying)**_

_"_ok… what if you don't find me?"

"That would never happened and you know it"

"why?"

"because I want to find you…. And you want to be found by me" (_**She went towards Carmen and kissed her lightly on the cheek and went out the door living Carmen on the house crying)**_

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!! (_**Crying on the car)**_ shit… why huh? Why did you have to go? _**(She didn't know if that was for Carmen or for herself) **_Just drive. Forget that the woman you love is in that house crying over you…with out a shirt and ready for you… forget that the woman in that house is the thing you always wanted, forget that the woman in there is the villain your after. just...forget (**and she drived off)**

-------------------------------------------

awwww!!!!!!!!!

lol i hope you like it and pleaseee pleasee tell me what you think!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

_**You can stop thinking about it… but you cant forget **_

So I'm here at my apartment. Two weeks have past since the little incident between me and Carmen. The guys never knew, so that's good. The next day I told the guys about the bag. They did ask me why I didn't tell them sooner. They know it's hard for me to do this, so they bought the lie that, I was figuring out what it meant. Well technically… it's not a lie. Then I told them that I thought she was in her old house. This time they didn't ask why. And I was totally ok with that. So we went there fully armed. I knew she wasn't going to be there. I knew she was already gone. So later, we went back home to downtown LA. And here I am…

It's sad you know…We lived together for almost 2 years… I remember how we met, like it was yesterday… I was getting out of a bad relationship. Real closet case. She broke my hart telling me she was going to get married with this guy, I didn't know about. But apparently, lot of people did. A month later, I was still devastated about the fucked up situation and wanted to get fucking drunk, so that I wouldn't feel the pain that was eating me alive. I went to this place cold… The Planet….

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**(Shane/Planet/ Lots of people)**_

_(Really cool place. I knew the owner, Kid. Her sister and I used to date, so… But there she was. She was the DJ…Kid saw the look I gave her.)_

"ok, Shane I will introduce you to her after she's finished" what can I say…

So after she was finished, Kid introduced each other and we got a table and started to talk. I don't know why I felt so comfortable with her. I told her about my job and why I became an Agent. She seemed intrigued by my old, sad story.

_(Now I know why… That's what she meant when she said "and I know you know what I'm talking about Shane" some thing like that, the last time we confronted each other… Anyway back to the story)_

When I was talking to her, I felt good. Finally in a month of being sorry for my self, I was … good. It was crazy, because the time was not right and then just like that you start to feel again. I told my self that I was NOT going to like someone for a while, you just don't want to fall in love, just to get your hart broken again. But then it happens… in your face and its sucks, cuz… its never part of the "plan". She had this smile that I couldn't get enough of. This body…wooooo, what can I say she was hot.

_(And I ask her on a date, and……she said YES!!)  
_

_** (END FLASCHBACK) **_

I don't like these things… these flashbacks that I'm having. It's like they are trying to say something. And I don't want to remember anymore. I want to forget. Because it's hurts to know that … that was not completely her… that she was letting out something. And if I cant have her all… I don't want her at all…

_**NEXT DAY AT WORK**_

I'm sitting in my office just looking at a picture I had of me and Carmen at vacations on PUERTO RICO. That was the best vacation ever.

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**(Shane/Carmen/Beach/Drinks/a lot of people laughing/lots of noice)**_

_(not again, no!!!)_

_** (Ends FLASHBACK) **_

Fuck !!! why does this keeps happening

_**(A woman came in Shane's office)**_

"HEY"

"Hey…"

"What are you doing?"

"Working"

"Oh_**…" (she got closer to Shane and sat right in front of Shane on her desk)**_ "I think you need a brake…" _**(She went to kiss her, but Shane stopped her.)**_

"I can't….. Sherry, I'm working" (_**she got up and went to opened the door for her)**_

"This is about that villain Carmen right?... your EX ?"

"NO!!... I'm working"

"Work didn't seem to bother you before... You were sleeping with me and coming home to her, and now she's gone and you don't want me anymore?"

"That was a mistake. I never should have had sex with you."

"I can't believe you. All this for a fucking bitch"

"Get out!!" _**(Sherry got out and she closed the door. Then someone knocked. And Shane opened it)**_ "I told y-… oh, Pablo sorry come in" (_**Pablo saw the look Shane had on… so sad… so miserable)**_

"Look Shane… I know your hurting right now… and I could understand that, but… that's life… Loves not like in the movies… and …something's are better just left to mystery" _**(Shane looked down.)**_

"Thank you…"

"Anytime… but look um… there was a murder on Culver City." _**(He had a file on his hand. He sat down and so did Shane) **_

"Who?"

"A lawyer named… Chris Barkley."

"Ok so, what's his backgrounds ?"

"Well… the word is he always defended GOOD people… and he always wins… so I don't know, it's not her normal scene"

"Well if we want to find out, I guess we have to go to Culver City then"

_**CULVER CITY**_

_**(Crime scene)**_

"What we got?"

"Well not much, he was shot on the heart"

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**(Carmen/ Old house/ Gun)**_

"When you kill someone by a bullet on the heart, its better… not that messy, as if on the head, but its more personal."

_** (END FLASHBACK) **_

fuck, what can I do to stop this thing!!!!!!

"…Shane… Shane are you ok?"

"um…yea, yea sorry, um, anything ells?"

"yea, a red rose…-" fuck!! How can she still do this?

"It's her…"

"How do you know?"

"That's her mark. For her, it means forgiveness."

"You sure?"

"No… Nothing more?... no note ... Anything?"

"No" Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck CARMEN!!!! Shit… I am in love with a fucking monster… how can she do this…and how the fuck am I going to find her know?... what if she really doesn't want to be found?… I'm going crazy because of her. Every time she kills some one, it's like a bullet on my gut… because I know she will never change… The weird thing is that I really want to find her… to see her. But at the same time I know if I do, it would probably be the end of her…. So I went home, I couldn't take it anymore…. knowing she's throwing her life away…That I could never be with her.

_**(Shane arrived at her apartment really tired and didn't notice Carmen sitting on the floor on her room)**_

"I didn't do it" _**(Carmen said in a low voice. Shane jumped of surprised, but when she saw who it was, she was shocked and scared at the same time)**_

"Get away from me. Get out" (_**she didn't have her gun with her. She left it on her desk. Carmen was sitting hugging her legs. When she herd Shane's response she looked down and buried her head on her legs)**_

"I didn't Shane…" _**(she was crying now. She looked up to see Shane on the opposite wall, like if she was scared of her) **_"are you afraid of me?"

"…Should I?" _**(Carmen was really hurt now. Her tears falling from her eyes like if she had lost someone)**_

"No… I didn't do it Shane…not this time" _**(Shane got closer)**_

"Fuck you Carmen… I know It was you… you left the fucking rose remember" _**(Carmen stood up)**_

"That doesn't mean anything, I didn't do it!!!!!... He was a good man, why would I kill an innocent guy Shane!?!?"

"Because your crazy. You can't decide… who's bad and who's good Carmen… that's not your job… your not suppose to do that. Crazy people do that" _**(Carmen laughs and cried at the same time)**_

" Maybe I'm crazy, everyone is, in some point… but I know what I do and I know what I don't do… and I didn't do it" _**(Shane didn't know if to believe her or not)**_

SHE LYING SHANE "I'm not lying Shane… I would never lie to you… Trust me…please" _**(Carmen eyes where red from all the crying and Shane couldn't take this… couldn't stand to see the woman she loves so destroyed)**_ Fuck she looks so sad… I can't take this… I can't watch this… this is breaking my fucking heart. I hate this. _**(She got closer to Carmen and sat next to her)**_

"Please don cry" _**(Carmen turned to look at her)**_

"Do you believe me?" _**(Shane looked away. She new the answer but didn't want to say it)**_

"Yes"

"Look at me and say it. I don't need does people, to now I didn't do it … but I do need you to believe in me" _**(Shane looked at her)**_

"Yes Carmen I believe in you… I don't know why but… I know you're telling me the truth… and again I don't know why" _**(They looked at each other for a minute. But Carmen broke down laughing)**_

"What's so funny?" _**(Shane panicked) **_

"This… this is a fucked up situation Shane… I'm supposed to be running from you, you are supposed to be arresting me"

"Yea about that, I'm not doing a very good job"

"No we are not…"

"You know… a friend of mine ones said that… Love is not like in the movies, that… something are better just left to mystery…" _**(Shane looked away from Carmen**_)

"Well… what good is a mystery if you don't try to solve it_**?" **_good response_** (They looked at each other and smiled. Carmen got closer and went to kiss Shane. Shane met her half way and started kissing passionately, until Carmen stopped)**_

"Are you going to stop this when it's really staring to get hot again? Cause this time I'm not sure a can take it." She so fucking hot… I can't resist her, I admit it

"I don't think I can do that anymore… it was a one time thing" (_**she smiled)**_

"Don't start what you can't finish Shane" lol She is such a tease

"oh a can finish it" (_**Shane grabbed Carmen and pulled her up. They walked kissing to the bed. When Carmen's knees touched the bed Shane pushed her down so she was lying on the bed. Shane didn't want to waist anytime so she took off Carmen's pants . Carmen was smiling at Shane's desperation. Then Shane took off her shirt and straddle Carmen. They where kissing again. They moved a little up, so they where fully in the bed. Not breaking the kiss. Shane took off Carmen's shirt and bra like in a second. Shane's leg was in-between Carmen's. And all of a sudden the phone rings)**_

"Are you going to get that?"

"No, the machine will get it:" _**(They continued what they where doing. Shane pushed her leg harder on Carmen's center and obtaining a moan. But then they herd a women's voice)**_

"_Look Shane I'm sorry about tonight. (__**Shane froze**__) I shouldn't have reminded you about sleeping with me wile you where with your ex. __**(Shane started to get up and Carmen was in shocked) **__I real woman doesn't do that, so sorr-"_

"HEY!!!!"

"oh Shane um… look a just wanted-"

"Look Sherry I'm busy, and a really don't want to talk about this right now. Get over it… I don't want you" _**(And she hanged up)**_ "I'm sorry about that" (_**she got in the bed and went to kiss Carmen)**_

"Don't touch me!!!!" Fuck you Sherry!!!

"What's wrong?" play it cool

"WHAT"S WRONG!!?!?... fuck you Shane!! … Is she right?"

"What are you talking about?" fuck !!!!!!!!

"Don't you fucking play with me Shane… did you deceived me?" (_**Shane looked down)**_

"Yes" I can't lie to her… never could _**(Carmen was now crying again. And she stood up)**_ "It was that time when we had that enormous fight, because your ex was in town" (_**Carmen grabbed her cloth**_)

"Yea and you just had to do that"

"I'm sorry Carmen"

"Sure you are" (_**She started putting her cloth back on)**_

"Are you going?"

"Yes Shane, I'm fucking going"

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake and I know that now… I don't want to loose you again"

"I guess you never know how much you love a person until she's gone right?"

"I Love you" _**(That words right there, where the one's that hurt Carmen)**_

"Everything just keeps getting worse… But, what do you want me to do_**? (Crying)**_ … Forget that, THAT happened… that you fucked another woman and then came back home to fuck me?"

"……I did… right now I'm forgiving you… " (_**Carmen looked at Shane. She new she was right, I mean, right now she's forgetting that she needs to arrest her, that she lied to her, that she's a killer)**_ I get so fucking week around her… I would never be able to arrest her.

"I can't… bye Shane" (_**She got out of Shane's house)**_

"FUCK!!!!!!!!!" (_**Shane got up and went to the machine, grabbed it and threw it to the floor making it break in peaces) **_shitttttttt. Fuck (_**she started crying) **_why can't this be easy for a change. Why can't I be fucking happy!!!!!

_** ( FLACHBACK) **_

_**(Shane/ Carmen/ Couch/ Food)**_

_(not again!!!)_

"I don't think a person can be truly happy"

"Carmen how can you say that?... your not happy?"

"I am, ok you know, but I'm not truly happy. And It's got nothing to do with you so don't put that face" _**(Shane smiled)**_

"Then tell me Yoda, why can't anyone be truly happy?"

"Because it will be too boring, to perfect… why would you want to be good if you could be bad…and who the fuck wants good or perfect?"

"You're perfect"

"Yea right... I'm far from perfect…. But the thing I'm trying to say is… it can't be always easy. It's like that saying: you've got to go through hell before you get to heaven."

"Well, then I know I've been thru hell"

"Why?"

"Because I got my heaven" _**(They smiled and started kissing)**_

_** (END OF FLASHBACK) **_

_**(Shane was now laying on her bed) **_

fuck!!! Stop that!!!!!! My head hurts when I have does…Stop thinking about the past Shane… and start thinking about the fucked up future… It's like something doesn't want me to be with Carmen. Some times I think we don't belong together, but sometimes… it's like we are made for each other. It's hard. Sometimes I think about killing my self… I mean I don't have anything in this world anymore. And if I have to spend my life running around looking for the woman I love… I rather just die. I just hope that it's like she says… sometimes you've got to go through hell before you get to heaven………….. Well I've been through hell, now where's my fucking heaven? …

_**  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**You're gone  
So there ain't enough**_

_**to keep me here that long**_

It's been a month since the last time we saw each other. Its 9pm, I'm in my office. Not too many people left just, Pablo, Jimmy, Cherie and me… I'm here almost 20 hours a day just in case, but… I can't find her… the police can't find her, and… I'm starting to think that it's the end. The end of us… It's for the best. 3 weeks ago I was on the bathroom and I heard Lara and some other chick talking about Carmen. They said… they said that, if they found her, they where going to give her death sentence. When I came back to the office the next day Pablo told me… it was true… I cried for two weeks trait, I didn't eat, didn't sleep, I got in fights, I couldn't do anything. If they found her, they where going to kill her… So I hoped… I hoped that she would never come back. Because if I have to watch her die, I would kill my self… I wish that night would have never happened… I wish she would have just staid in home.

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**Shane/ house/ guns/ a dead person on the floor/ a woman dress in black/ darkness**_

Fuck. I pointed the gun at her "Put your hands in the air, you're under arrest" I knew she was a woman because I could see the figure trough the darkness… very good. She turned towards me… I couldn't see her face, it was too dark. She started going towards me "don't move any closer lady" she didn't listen to me, so I grabbed her hand and pined her to the wall "listen to me you-" …Carmen… what… "Carmen..?"

"Let me go Shane" fuck, she…

"You killed that man…"

"Long story… let me go" so I let her go. I can't move. "Listen Shane, you don't understand" I was crying now

"I thought you where at Alice's"

"… I'm sorry" I fell down… I couldn't resist my weight any longer. Then we heard the sirens of the police "I have to go" I still couldn't move… she went towards me, she kneeled and kissed me. "You will understand soon enough" She got up and left. The guys came in

"Shane!!! Shane are you ok?"

"…."

"Shane!!!... Did you see who it was?" I looked at him

"Carmen…"

How could you take his life away?  
How could you be so full of hate?  
And when I heard you let him die  
And made the world all wonder why  
I sat at home and on my own,  
I cried alone

_** (END FLSHBACK) **_

I don't mind the flashbacks any more… that's all I have from her…memories. That's all I do now, remember… Like when I found her on Rubies Night Club.

_** (FLASHBAC) **_

I knew she was there, but I didn't tell the guys for 3 days. I just liked to see her dance. Every night for 4 days, they said she was the New girl. By what she's wearing, lot's of assholes are coming on to her. Each night seems like it's getting worse, I just wish she'd take the night off, so I don't have to fight off every asshole coming on to her. It happens every night she works. They'll go and ask the DJ what she would say, if they all tried coming on to her. Don't they know it's never going to work? They think they'll get inside her with every drink they buy her. This time somebody's getting hurt. And the ladies, they're cool but twice as crazy. Each time she bats an eyelash, somebody's grabbing her ass. I'm hating what she's wearing. Everybody here keeps staring

_** (END FLASHBACKS) **_

(_**Shane was crying)**_ I wanted her to stay, cause I needed to hear her say…that she loved me… but she never did. I miss her so fucking much. I wish I could see her for the last time so I could tell her…That I love her, that I have loved her all along, and I miss her, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming she'll be with me and she'll would never go. Because ill stop breathing if I don't see her anymore… I've been listening to Nickelback for far too long….

She came along and tore this wall down and that's something you don't forget just like that. But she never did say she loved me… No matter what she said or what she didn't I loved her… she was my angel. So I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride because the angel of mine ain't hanging out with me tonight.

_**(The lights go off) **_Just great. Just, what I needed. (_**She gets out of her office) **_

"Guys!!"

"Shane I'm here"

"Where is Cherie and Jimmy?"

"Right here"

"Here"

"It must be the breakers" _**(Shane got her lighter and could see just 4 feet to the front , but the guys could see her and went towards her)**_

"Let me call the maintenance guy"

"He won't be able to help you" _**(a voice came in the room. Shane pointed the lighter in front but was useless, she couldn't see anything)**_

"Who was that?"

"…Carmen"

"Aww that's so sweet… you recognize my voice" (_**she said sarcastically)**_

"Wait, Carmen, Your ex, The psycho killer?" (_**You could hear Carmen laugh)**_

"Cherie shut it!! Guys call the police"

"So this is Cherie huh?... I gotta tell you Shane I expected someone prettier… I mean if you where going to betrayed me like that, look for something better"

"My cell phone is dead Shane!!"

"You can't even see me bitch!!"

"Oh I can see you don't worry. And your cells are not going to work so..."

"AHHH!!... She touched me!!!!!!" _**(Carmen laughed)**_

"Carmen, leave her alone…"

"I just having a little fun Shane" _**(They heard the sound, when a gun was ready to shoot) **_"and I'm not the one with a gun …"

"Guys, you can't see anything, so what are you doing with the gun?"

"Just in case Shane, don't worry"

"You like guns huh Jimmy?"

"… I guess I do"

"LISTEN Carmen … she slept with me ok, get over it …now let us go"

"Cherie, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yea Cherie, I would listen to Shane on this one… me being a psycho killer an all… but Shane tell me… was she better than me?"

"Carmen…"

"This is ridiculous, what the fuck do you want bitch"?

"Jimmy shut up"

"No Pablo you shut up, I'm fucking sick of this bitch and Shane story. I just want to get it over with so they would kill her already" fuck don't say that asshole

"…shut the fuck off Jimmy or I'm going to kick you ass"

"Don't worry Shane I know" she knows…she knows what?... does she mean her death sentenced? But how? "You haven't answer, my question Shane… is she better"

"Oh please…"

"No"

"WHAT???"

"She doesn't come close to you…"

"…..Good"

"But…what are you doing here Carmen?" _**(Like in a second Carmen was in front of her)**_

"My job" (_**Carmen blew the lighter off and now everything was dark.)**_ And then I could hear everything and nothing at the same time. I heard screams coming from Cherie, I heard gunshots, I heard the guys screaming but I couldn't move…I was just there standing like a complete loser, scared for my life….

_** (FLASHBACK)**_

SHANE/ CARMEN/ KISSING/ BED/ SEX/ MORE KISSING/ EYES/MORE SEX/ SWEAT/ FINGERS/ SOUNDS OF : FUCK's, GOD's/ GUNS/ GUNSHOTS/MOUNS

_**"Domino!!!!**_ "

"Now you know… what do you think?" ///

"You're the only one that can understand me" ////

"Fuck you Carmen!!!" ////

"Fuck me Shane" ////

"what if you don't find me?" ////

"I didn't do it" ////

"Get away from me" ///

"Do you believe me?" ////

"..what good is a mystery if you don't try to solve it_**?"///**_

"... Carmen" ////

_** (END FLASHBACK) **_

Then it's stopped and everything was silent. The lights turned on, but I closed my eyes scared of what's in front of me. All I was thinking was, she killed Cherie, she killed Cherie… but then I opened my eyes and a few feet's from where I was, was Cherie and Pablo on the floor knocked out , that was good, cuz they didn't have a bullet trough their hearts, but…where is Jimmy.

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**My office/ two days ago/ Jimmy**_

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got a secret admirer"

"You do?"

"Yes but don't tell the wife… she left me this with a card that said _TO JIMMY" _a rose…

"How do you know it's a 'she'"

"Shut up"

_** (END FLASHBACK) **_

Shit… fuck!!!!!.. _**(She turn to her back and their it was… Jimmy with a bullet on his heart and a note) **_A note... she kills my friend and all she lives is a fucking note (_**she grabbed it and opened)**_

_You where looking for the killer of __Chris Barkley?, well there you have it… Chris was with Jimmy's wife, he found them the other day and he killed him… ask his wife. He wanted to make it look like I was the killer, by putting the red rose on the body. But that's not the only thing that makes him an asshole… he gets violent with his wife and kids. He took advantage of her daughter… Don't believe me?... Talk to his wife… His fingerprints are all over Chris. I guess you're surrounded by bad people Shane._

_PS: Words are not meant to be kept from others._

_C_


	5. Chapter 45

_**I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming.**_

I can't do this anymore… I can't… her face…it hurts to see her hurt… But I had to do it… I had to kill Jimmy. I feel like I'm losing ground. Everyone hates admitting fear. Most people wanna know why their here… I know. I don't do this for fun… I do it because it's my calling, its what I do…

I'm through thinking of things to say to you. I've said enough and so have you. I needed you, probably as bad as I need another hole in the head. I know what they are going to do to me if they found me… I don't care anymore. Life it's not life if I can't be with her. So I know the end is coming.

I missed her so much. Sometimes I think is best if left in the memory, it's better kept inside than left for good. Lately it seems like my dreams have started to die. Then I realized. ….that ….so have I. The things that keep me alive aren't living here anymore…….

She sees much better than I see. And she knows all that I'm thinking. So Shane … I'm hear waiting

-------------------------------------------

That's it… she over…I'm over. She killed a cop. My friend……. I need to find her. The only thing that keeps popping in my head, it's the last part on the note…_"Words are not meant to be kept from other". _She telling me something… but what? I think and thing until…

_** (FLASHBACK) **_

_**STREET/ A NIGHT CLUB/ AYEAR AGO/ THE PALACE**_

_** (END FLASHBACK) **_

The Palace… so that's where you are. But that place closed, like 3 months ago…. I guess I'll be there Carmen.

-------------------------------------------

_**(2 HOURS LATER)**_

So I'm here where you want me… now where are you Carmen (_**Then music started playing on the background and Carmen appeared) **_

"Can I have this dance?" she was so beautiful. She had a white dress on. She looked like an angel… my angel…

"yes" of course I said yes. She had the smile I loved. _**(They started dancing. Carmen had both hands on Shane's neck and Shane's hands on her waist) **_"You look beautiful" she smiled again… I can't get enough of it… I haven't seen her smile in a long time.

"Thank you… you look really bad" _**(They laughed)**_

"Thank you… I haven't slept in a while so…"

"Why?"

"Because… because they are going to kill you Carmen"

"I'm not afraid to die Shane"

"But I'm afraid… of losing you" (_**Shane started crying)**_

"…… I love you Shane" shit… fuck she said it… she loves me….

"You have never said that before"

"I know… but I just, wanted you to know"… I love you" don't say that…

"Don't say that" _**(Shane was now crying hysterically) **_fuck

"Shane what's wrong?... look at me …." I cant, but I do (_**Shane looked at her)**_

"I Love you Carmen" I can't stop crying

"I know Shane I know" _**(They hugged. Carmen trying to help Shane calm down)**_

"I sorry" _**(She said on Carmen's neck)**_

"Shane don't… ok you have nothing to be sorry about" yes I do

"I'm sorry" (_**Shane let go of Carmen. Carmen was confused. Then 5 guys stepped out of their hiding place and pointed their gun to Carmen)**_

"Carmen de la Pica Morales your under arrest"

_**(Carmen looked at Shane and smiled. Shane broke down in front of all of them and fell to the ground crying while the guys arrested Carmen)**_

I'm gonna make it alright But not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
You're the only one who knows that

Not like I need to depend on anyone  
Since I can see the lack of need for you to be here at all  
"One more" the anthem for the know-it-all  
You won't be standing up for long  
You better learn how to crawl  
In 10 minutes I'll be laying out flat on the floor  
Like I need to defend my own innocence  
So what I did it, I admit it, and I'm pleading the fifth  
"Two more" the anthem for the know-it-all  
You won't be standing up for long  
You better learn how to crawl  
8 minutes from losing it a little bit  
5 minutes your description might be starting to fit  
3 to go and I'm forgetting all that I've ever known  
I won't be standing up for long  
I better learn how to crawl  
Can't stand anymore  
In 10 minutes I'll be laying out flat on the floor

Here we are again  
Just face to facing  
Each other another day  
Who wins  
Well who cares  
It always ends up the same  
Seems I knew I would


	6. Chapter 5

_**(Carmen was on her prison lying on the bed)**_

Prison… let me tell you, not what I specked it to be .I have a room if you can call it that, to my self. I think it's because they are going to kill me. So they are being nice. I've been here one week now. No visitors, and in two days I get, "The chair"…. The prisoners here don't really bother me… they look at me like they know… they know I'm going to die very soon. I try to forget about Shane … forget that she turned me in… that she hasn't visit me, not even ones…. But, I can't. She is in every thought

"Carmen!!! You got a visitor" (_**the police man opened the gate)**_

Did I mention I got no visitors ?...well I was wrong, my lawyer comes every now and then, to tell me in other words, I am going to die and she cant do nothing about it. So yea everything is good.

(_**She got out and followed the man to a big room) **_This reminds me of my school's lunch room. Lots of tables. _**(she sat where they told her to sit and a woman came in the room) **_told ya _**(the woman sat down)**_

"Hey how are you doing Carmen?"

"I'm good Beth, you?"

"I'm good"

"Any changes?"

"…. No…"

"Look Beth… ok, I don't know why are you helping me… but you've helped enough… there is nothing you could do…"

"… They are going to kill you Carmen and I can't do anything… how can you call that enough?"

"I've killed, Beth… you know that… I killed a police man… this is it… you know that"

"I do…"

"So are you going to tell me why are you helping me… I mean you just came here like my guardian angel. I can't pay you in any way so… why?"

"Well… I'm not your guardian angel… Shane is"

"Shane...?"

"Yea, I know her and I told her I would help, so."

"So she knows everything that's going on?"

"Yea… she's a mess"

"Why?... after all, SHE did this to me"

"I don't think she did… she loves you" _**Carmen laugh)**_

"Right…"

"You know what … I'll let her talk to you"

"WHAT!?!?!... She's here?"

"She's always here Carmen"

"You mean Shane…?"

"Yes Shane… she sometimes takes the night shift, so she could see you sleep"

"She can't actually do that"

"Believe me… she can"

---------------------------------------------

_**(Then she stood up and got out of the room and 5 minutes later Shane came in the room looking like crap and sat down in front of Carmen)**_ There she is… just… sit there and talk to her, ok?… Beth said that I had to, so…

"Hey…" that was more like a whisper.

"What do you want?" Ok that hurt… but I disserve it

"… um…I just … I wanted to know how are you?"

"What do you think?... I'm going to die in two days Shane" don't say that

"Don't say that"

"It's the truth Shane… they are going to kill me in two fucking days!!!"

"I'm sorry Carmen…"

"Don't you fucking say that!!..." _**(She stood up)**_ "I told you I loved you Shane… the only person I have… and you… you fucking turned me in" fuck… _**(Shane started crying in front of everybody. And Carmen yelling at her didn't help. Then Beth appeared again in the room with two officers who cleared the room, so now they were there alone)**_

"Don't blame me Carmen… you did this to yourself" (_**she looked up to Carmen)**_

"You are right … I had only one weakness… that one thing got me here … and that's you… if I just wasn't so completely in love with you, no one could have cashed me… no one"

"Fuck you, Carmen this is my fucking job…… more than that, I was doing the right thing… you are a fucking killer Carmen…... it's my job…I had to"

"That's your job… well this is mine… but you know what … I don't care anymore… cause in a couple of days… that's it… I'm gone" Stop saying that!!!

"You really don't care that they are going to kill you"

"No…"

"… Well fuck you… I do… I can't sleep because of it, I can't eat… I can't do anything… because you're right… it's my fault you're here…but its not my fault you killed does man…it's not my fault that they are going to kill you… you had it coming …"

"If that makes you fell better" _**(Shane stood up and went towards Carmen)**_

"THAT DOENST MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _**(Shane started crying again but this time worse. Carmen had tears falling from her eyes)**_

"You know what would make me feel better?... if right know I could have you in my arms, in my bed and I didn't have to hide it… that I could kiss you and nothing would stop it. That I could… _**(She grabbed Carmen's hands) **_hold your hands and… and know you will never go… that you will never leave me…" _**(Carmen was now crying at the same level of Shane) **_" I love you Carmen… I do, you know that. And it's killing me to know that I can't do anything to help you…" (_**Shane grabbed Carmen's face) **_"You… you're the best thing… that ever happened… to me… Carmen" _**(She couldn't speak properly because of the crying)**_

"I love you… I … love you Shane… I'm sorry… I'm sorry this is fucking happening!!" (_**They hugged for 5 minutes never wanting to let go. Until Beth came in)**_

"Excuse me guys… but, Shane we have to go." (_**They parted from the hug)**_

"Right... um... yea" _**(Shane said wiping her tears away and so did Carmen) **_"I'll be here tomorrow Carmen" …I love you

"ok…" (_**They went towards each other and kissed passionately for another minute. Shane holding Carmen's face and Carmen doing the same. When they parted they started crying again. And a man came after Carmen and got her out of the room)**_

"I'm sorry Shane" Beth said

"Me too"

_**--------------------------------------------------------------- **_

After the day we finally spoke to each other in prison, I came back the next day and spend it all day with her… I got connections, so yea. We spend it talking laughing and not talking of what's coming the next day. We spend an hour lying on the grass of the backyard just staring at each other… and on 5 month's of felling completely awful, I felt good again…I guess that's what she does to me. Looking at her eyes I felt complete… she is my other half

But today is the day of Carmen's death……. and mine.

_**-------------------------------------------------------------------- **_

I'm here at the place they are going to kill Carmen. Shane asked me to be here…. I guess she can't see the love of her life been killed in front of her… and I don't blame her. I hate this… I feel sorry for them. They seem so happy before. I guess you never really know a person. It's hard for me too, to be here because, I knew Carmen… she was my friend too, I mean we had picnics together and I would never have guessed she was… just don't talk about it… Shane is a mess. I can't help any of them….

Here comes the guards… they have Carmen. She had a something covering her head. I guess it's better if you don't see the face while she is being electrocuted. She is moving around trying to get her self off the police man's. Fuck I can't see this… (_**A tear fell from Pablo's eyes)**_

_**------------------------------------------------------------------- **_

This is it…. The end… And I really don't care. If I can't be with her…If she's gone… then what the fuck is holding me here? My place is with her and if she's gone… I'm gone. I only need one bullet…One. And, the pane…all this… is gone. And maybe I can be with her again.

I really don't believe in heaven… but she did. So if there is this so cold heaven, I know it has to include her. And if we go to hell… well… we are going to hell together, so it can't be that bad.

I don't care where we go, anything its better than being here right know, knowing the love of my life, my soul mate, my other half… is being killed and I cant do shit.

So the gun is ready for me…

_**-------------------------------------------------------------- **_

They sit her on the chair, they put the belts in her hands, and her legs … She is fighting to get herself off it. The priest starts saying some bullshit about god and all I want to do is punch him… fuckers. This killing, does who kill, is really bullshit … I mean they suffer more in jail so… fuckkkkk… I'm glad Shane's not here.

_**-------------------------------------------------------------- **_

_**(Shane is crying and holding the gun to her head)**_.

Fuck, you can to it come on… just pull it… fuck… I have to do this… this is the only way. Carmen must be dead by now _**(Shane is crying like if there was no tomorrow… and their isn't) **_I already wrote the note… so I'm good to go… lets just read it again ok… (_**She grabbed the note in front of her)**_

_Dear Pablo:_

_I had to do it… sorry, but I can't be here with out her._

Ok… pull it Shane… she's waiting _**(Shane pushed the gun harder to her head)**_

_**---------------------------------------------------------------- **_

They are ready… all you can hear is the sound coming from Carmen… moans and cries. And it's killing me inside… this is not right… I feel bad because this is what we do… the police… And I wonder how many people had to watch their love ones being killed in front of them…

I watch Carmen for the last time. Her body… wait a minute…her tattoo… the thing on her left arm… it's… fucking gone, that's not her… that's not fucking Carmen

"Wait, STOP!!" _**(He got up and went towards them)**_

"Stop right there Pablo, we have to do this… we know it's hard-"

"No, that's not her!!!... That's not Carmen"

_**(The judge and the police man's looked at each other)**_

"Just to be sure…" _**(They took off the bag or whatever she had on her face. And they found… another woman with tape on her mouth) **_I knee it… that's not Carmen

"That's not Carmen"

"And where the fuck is she?" _**(They took off the tape from the woman's mouth)**_

"FUCK!!!... she's gone… she took my uniformed…and fuck, you where going to kill me you mother fuckers!!!!"

"Holly shit" _**(Pablo said)**_ fuck … she escaped… I'm so fucking glad man

"Thank you sir… you saved my life… if it wasn't for you I'll be dead because of this fucking morons" (_**Pablo was smiling know)**_ shit I have to call Shane

"Why the fuck are you smiling Pablo?"

"Fuck off Chris" yea his my boss, but I don't give a fuck. I just have to call Shane _**(He got out of that place)**_

_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------- **_

_**(Shane had her gun on her face when the phone rang for the 10**__**th**__** time. She grabbed it and saw that it was Pablo again. Then she heard someone knocking on the door and started crying harder)**_

"I can't talk right now Pablo…There is nothing you can say to make me feel better"

….See… she's really gone now Shane… she's gone… so pull it…

"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!" (_**And there was a loud noise in the room) "BAN!!!"**_

_**THE END…..**_

_**Sorry for the spelling and advice to you... don't believe everything I say lol**_


End file.
